My biggest fear for the majority of my life was failing. As I type this now I laugh thinking how silly that was. I was afraid to follow several of my dreams, to step out in faith and really go for it. It wasn’t that I didn’t have faith in God but I didn’t have faith in myself. I can’t say that I haven’t been successful, for by the grace of God I have been blessed beyond measure despite my unwillingness to push beyond my own limited vision. For years I sat with visions and ideas that I kept buried away. I picked the paths that were “safe”. I wanted to desperately to be “normal”, I wanted to be fulfilled with a nine to five job, with the community volunteer work, the Saturday night get togethers with friends. It just wasn’t enough.
I don’t know why I am restless. Why I feel like I have so much in me that is just bursting to get out, to learn, to teach, to create! I often wondered if I was the only one who felt like this until I came across this quote in a self help book “Cemeteries are full of unfulfilled dreams… countless echoes of “could have” and “should have”… Don’t choose to walk the well-worn path to regret.” – Steve Maraboli
That quote shook me to my core. I was normal! I was trying, like so many people, to drown out that inner voice by keeping busy in day to day life, but suddenly it occurred to me..how long would that inner voice keep pushing to the surface before it finally gave up? Was that the real normalcy? This life is so so so short. Would I die with all these things pent up inside me?
So I sat down and starting writing out some of my dreams, visions. I discussed them with some of my closest friends and family. That, I learned, is something you have to be very careful with. When you start discussing ideas with people, you have to remember those dreams were not given to them. Not only will they not get as excited as you but will probably try and talk you out of doing whatever is in your heart to do! Remember people don’t do this out of malice, but they are given a limited view of what you have been entrusted with. You can’t pass your passion for something on to another person, that is something that burns inside you.
After years of self doubt, and hesitation I decided to go for it! I don’t know what finally gave me confidence. I couldn’t tell you the moment when I quit letting fear paralyze me. I just remember being so overwhelmed with ideas, and visions for my future. That I was so taken over by this feeling that if I didn’t start letting these things inside me come to life that I too was going to go to my grave with things that were meant to be shared with the world. If one person finds hope to live the life they were called to because of my ramblings is that not worth it? I love the parable in Luke 15:4 where Jesus talks about the shepherd leaving the 100 sheep to go find the 1 that was lost. If all I do and say in this world is able to help 1 person than I will not have lived in vain.
I don’t know what your calling is. What your dream is. What I do know is, you don’t need to be afraid of failing. The truth is I fail a lot! Each time I get a little better and a little smarter and just keep trying to get it right. You are going to fail. If you never try you have failed already. If you are doing something you have never done, you can’t expect to do everything right the first time! Give yourself permission to mess up, but give yourself permission to keep trying till you meet your goals. Whatever it is that you are passionate about GO FOR IT! Do your research, go learn from the best, go read books, go to seminars whatever you need to do to start turning those dreams to reality.
